On Memory: Malleable Memory and Visual Cues

What if some memories are rooted in a a place?

Recently, we took my nephews to the California Academy of Sciences. I’ve been there so many times through out my life. Because of this, I realized the words “California Academy of Sciences” don’t bring a stream of events or certain story to mind.  This is funny to me because in the same Golden Gate Park that houses the museum are the DeYoung Museum and Japanese Tea Garden- both of which I've only visited once and have very specific memories of.

When I think of the California Academy of Science, I think of the albino alligator that’s lived there since I was a child. That's exclusively what always comes to mind. There's a whirl of field trips and family trips swirling around him like a whirpool around a drain. Going to visit him the other day, he looks the same! 

It made me think how memories are malleable in different way. When you recall a memory, it is taken from it’s “memory box” and handled. Present-day thoughts effect it and it returns to the box, to be revisited again, slightly different.

My mind has handled the California Academy of Sciences quite a bit. All is blurry and hard to put into focus. All except Claude in his eternal swamp. Like other precious memories, I’m sure if I returned to the museum and didn't find Claude in his familiar spot or didn't find him at all, the museum would disappoint me. I’m sure a lot has changed about the museum since my first or last visit, but I haven’t noticed because I have fixated on him.

I wonder if my nephews will think of certain elements of the museum the same way if they were to visit a third time. I wonder if my father, who’s taken me to the museum many times, thinks of Claude the same way I do.

I learned a lot about about my own memory ron that San Francisco trip.

Before we visited the museum, we visited my grandmother’s grave. I’ve been painting my memory of the day she died but my painting stalled when I had health issues. Prior to the hiatus, the painting did prod emotional scars so I was afraid I’d be emotional at the grave.

Painting the memory was a constant feeling of vulnerability and pain but I didn’t feel as strong a flood of emotion driving through the cemetery as I did when we got to the recognizable little foot of the hill, beside the little funerary road and saw the familiar tombstone. That’s when I realized just how strong visual cues are for me. The sights really got me. Maybe that’s why I get so emotional painting rather than writing about memories.

What sensory cues do you respond most to?

 

 
 

Art in Sac: Hi-Fructose: Turn the Page

If you’ve been reading my blog, you already know I was stoked to see the Turn the Page: The First Ten Years of Hi-Fructose Exhibit at the Crocker Art Museum. Aside from a bevy of sentimental reasons to attend, I've followed a fifth of the exhibiting artists since their actual features in Hi-Fructose and another three are on my list of very favorite visual artists (Yoshitomo Nara, James Jean, Audrey Kawasaki). I was also excited to see the work of artists I’ve read about in Hi-Fructose but only recently began to enjoy (namely Mark Ryden, Kris Kuksi and Kehinde Wiley).

The exhibit was immediately engulfing (as you'll see if you attend) and did not disappoint.

Unrequited (Variation in Pink), 2015 Resin infused refractory material, paint. 14 1/2 × 15 × 43 in. 

Unrequited (Variation in Pink), 2015 Resin infused refractory material, paint. 14 1/2 × 15 × 43 in. 

I was floored by:

 
Rosie's Tea Party Oil on Canvas, 2005

Rosie's Tea Party Oil on Canvas, 2005

I savored:

 
  • the magnitude of Kehinde Wiley’s "Philip the Fair”.
  • the clown's doll-like hands in Ron English’s “Combrat Rising”.
  • the sassy kitschy play in Mark Ryden’s “Rosie's Tea Party”. I found it ridiculously fun remaining entranced in Rosie's eyes and the details of her tea party. While Ryden’s technical skill is stunning, yes, “fun” is the word I’d use to describe experiencing this painting. I have fallen into his world fully and happily and now fully understand why Ryden is such a huge player in the pop surrealist world. 

I keep forgetting how marvelously thrilling it is to see a piece in person rather than on a computer or in print where it loses a bit of it's luster. It truly is in the experiencing of a piece in person that one can really understand what makes art.

If you are in the area and are interested in the exhibit, take note that it runs at the Crocker Art Museum through September 17, this year.

 

Inspiration: Podcasts

It's been a month since I've written here, due to a fortunate influx in graphic design work, a much-needed vacation and taking care of my mental health. I wanted to update all you beautiful souls, though. So, in the meantime, I wanted to share some great podcasts if you are in need of inspiration. I listen to at least one of these podcasts every day while I work. It's like having mentors and peers in my home office. The things I've learned are so invaluable!

Marketing / Entrepreneurship / Design

As a Creative freelancer, these podcasts keep me up-to-date and excited when I hit those all-to-common work flow snags.

Accidental Creative with Todd Henry Todd Henry's episodes are shorter than some podcasts but his pep talks put me in my place when I'm complacent or cowardly. Some weeks, I listen to this podcast as I make my coffee first thing in the morning.

Design Matters with Debbie Millman I listen to some of these episodes over and over . As a freelancer, I sometimes lack Creative commiseration, so hearing Debbie talk to hotshot designers and creatives is like getting encouragement straight from the mouths of mentors.

Design Sponge (reruns) with Grace Bonney Back in 2008 when I followed like 300+ blogs, Grace Bonney had already claimed her reign as the godmother of design blogs. These podcasts are older, but Grace's design and curatorial experience really shine through each episode.

Online Marketing Made Easy with Amy Porterfield This one is targeted more towards teachers of online courses but Amy's interviews still offer TONS of encouragement and wisdom for businesses built on content generation (like mine!). Amy's energy is always inspiring, too.

Fine Art / Contemporary Art

It's important for me to remember that the role of "artist" (though traditionally pitied and misunderstood by the non-artist commercial world) is a necessary historical and cultural place in society. These podcasts remind me how important art will always be to humanity.

Hyperallergic I am grateful for everything Hyperallergic does to keep me updated on the living, breathing contemporary art world. This podcast reminds me to keep an eye on the history being made in art, not just the art history books I've read in school.

MoMA Talks Great for learning about both modern and contemporary art. This podcast features talks with artist, curators and scholars. 

Raw Material by SF MoMA The format of this podcast reminds me of PBS' Art21 series. I really like that I can keep my finger on the pulse of the art being made where I was born and raised: the Bay Area and Northern California.

KCRW Art Talk This podcast features artists in Southern California. I can't make that drive willy nilly, so I listen to this podcast to feel updated on that scene.

Lifestyle / Story-telling / News

When I don't have an audiobook to listen to, I listen to these podcasts. Story-telling is a huge aspect of my artwork and hearing the stories of both famous and regular people is necessary to my creative process.

Death, Sex and Money with Anna Sale This podcast is brimming with the human experience and Anna is a gracious interviewer. I find solace in listening to the stories told by people walking very different walks in life. Seldom are the topics of death, sex and money discussed elsewhere but this podcast makes clear that such "taboo" subjects are what tie us all together.

Rookie I am no teen but I've followed Tavi Gevinson's career since she was 12. Listening to this podcast, which is in line with the magazine she founded in 2011, is inspiring because interviewees are asked questions by unabashed teenagers finding their way through life. Quite often, answers are life-affirming and phrased in a gracious and honest way. 

PBS NewsHour ,  BBC NewsHour , (Time's) The Daily All for varying perspectives on world news. I avoided ingesting too much of the news in past years (it would depress me). However, I now feel a daily need to find my bearings in the world through learning what's going on elsewhere. It helps me navigate daily life when I focus on the human experience as a whole rather than my own little world of negative thoughts.

 

I hope you find these podcasts inspiring as you peruse them!

 

Finished!* Spring 2002: First Time I Saw Justin

I am happy to share this finished piece with you beautiful souls!

"Spring 2002: First Time I Saw Justin"⠀2017. Acrylic, Crayon, Colored Pencil on Mixed Media Paper. 18"x24".⠀

"Spring 2002: First Time I Saw Justin"⠀
2017. Acrylic, Crayon, Colored Pencil on Mixed Media Paper. 18"x24".⠀

In this piece I explore how my mind organizes a very short but very special memory. Through creating this, I’ve learned about how I recall and prioritize stimuli from very short bursts of time.

The way I deal with remembering color is fascinating to me. It's also funny realizing I can remember a fact about a moment but not be able to establish a stable visual for it in my head. In this memory, I know my high school Newspaper teacher was present at this moment but I don’t know what he was doing or wearing (hence the word "OLSON"). The word, rather than a visual is a trigger for a fact.

If you want to know more about this piece, you can check my recent blog entry on the process and thought behind it.

Thanks for checking it out!

 

Art in Sac: Turn the Page

I just got a pamphlet heralding "Turn the Page: The First Ten Years of Hi-Fructose", showing at the Crocker Art Museum from June to September. I am stoked.

Kris Kuksi. Churchtank Type 9” (2010) . Crocker Art Museum

Kris Kuksi. Churchtank Type 9” (2010) . Crocker Art Museum

Hungrily consuming art magazines like Hi-Fructose back in 2007 made me realize my particular art style and voice was relevant and lead to my decision to go to art school. I realize now I've admired their work since the beginning since this exhibition marks the tenth anniversary of their art magazine. 

Art expected to show include a Mark Ryden (who I first learned about through Hi-Fructose), a Kris Kuksi, a Todd Schorr and a Kehinde Wiley.

The Crocker already has a Kuksi. It's a smaller work than the one expected at Turn The Page and was staggering to behold and turn over and over in my head. Perhaps the small size of it made the heaviness of the detail and content much grander, heavier. 

I am excited to see Eros at Play and the rest of the Hi-Fructose exhibit in June! I am really enjoying the stuff Crocker is bringing to my hometown!

 

Keeping Me Honest: Artists I Admire

Living life seems to bring more questions than answers, and yet it's all-at-once beautiful and redeeming in it's darkest places.

To me, art is like that, too.

Being an artist is terrifying: Expressing one's truth even when  others demand answers. The truth isn't always pretty, doesn't always make sense, is sometimes more funny than pleasing, sometimes can't be explained succinctly... Yet, the truth, as art, is always beautiful in it's ability to inspire one to search deep inside for answers and reach outside for meaning.

I am inspired by

  • artists who challenge truths. I might not agree with everything they do but I am inspired by their fearlessness.
  • artists who seem to have styles/messages I try to convey. If they can do it, I know I can.
  • artists who are having fun. Yes. Art can be fun.

Here is a short list of artists who constantly do this for me... artists who have got me through some dark times:

  • Vincent VanGogh: for the dream
  • Mark Rothko: for the depth
  • Frida Kahlo: for making self-centered work okay
  • Billy Collins: for making the mundane miraculous
  • Odilon Redon: for the freedom in dream and myth
  • Yoshitomo Nara: for the angst in the innocence
  • Wassily Kandinski: for the child like expression
  • Paul Klee: for the form
  • Paul Cézanne: for the color
  • Gustav Klimt: for the ornate
  • James Jean: for making comic-like art high brow
  • Audrey Kawasaki and Lady Gaga: for the dark and sexy
  • Lykke Li and Zola Jesus: for the vulnerability and the raw power
  • Es Devlin, Yoko Ono and Cai Guo-Qiang: for concept delivered through total  experience
  • Alexander McQueen: for delivering the dark and the honest through beauty
  • Friends With You and APAK: for youth, wonder, joy
  • Fafi and Koralie: for being badass females and painting them, too
  • John Steinbeck: for his simple but beautiful story telling
  • Jonathan Safran Foer: for the stunning, sweeping narratives about the simple and commonplace
  • Johannes Vermeer: for making it okay to find the beauty in the commonplace
  • Louis CK: (see Billy  Collins)

Hope this is inspiring to you, too.